dear movie talker,

dear movie talker,
Yes, I am finally writing you a letter about your witty and sarcastic comments about the current film that we have spend our hard earned money on. It is also true, that you always seem to wait for the quietest moment in the theater to express your opinion about the dying situation or chapel perilous that our hero is enduring. However, I feel the need to break the news that I, Brandon, is sick of your comments and spoiler spouting theories. I need you to be silent or take your ADHD medicine before the film begins, so that I may enjoy the story from minute one to the final words climbing the screen. I understand this may be hard to hear or comprehend. Hollywood has given you the right device (dvd player) for you to use to help you practice your self control from the onslaught of wordplay rantings. Go home and use this device to help you practice keeping your mouth shut and ruining the movie for me and my friends. Hope you enjoy this advice.
Sincerely, Brandon

As above, you learn that I had hate movie talkers. I want to go to see a film and dive into the mystery and storytelling. However, this people go and feel that is a social time or a good time to prove to there friends that they are the funniest man alive ( to bad you lost to multiple winners: Larry David, Jim Rome, Bill Cosby and many more). However, I feel the need to identify the multiple times of movie talkers.

Spouting Spoiler: This individual likes to tell you what is about to come next or where the plot is going. They fail to remember that you are both in the journey of watching the movie and there for entertainment purposes. However, sometimes your spoilers are wrong and you hang your head in shame for claiming such a plot.

Wordplayer: A direct spin off of the spouting spoiler, the wordplayer likes to finish sentences before they happen in the film. They love the satisfaction of either secretly going to the movies the night before to see the film so they can spit out the lines like the actors. Or they are like Uri Geller or Jean Dixon and use there amazing psychic powers to predict the next line. I say, go into acting. However maybe this people are just wannbe actors. Hmmmmm.

"Go Bots, Go Bots": This individual is the one who likes to state the obvious in the film. I was in a film once where individual continued to point out who Gandalf was in the Return of the King. I was merely confused with this individual because of multiple reasons. 1) Return of the King is 3 and half hours long and he is in the film for most of it (how can you not recongize him?) 2) He is the only old guy in the film ( how could you not remember the freaking old guy who rides a kick ass horse, who fights deathly shadows and is named "Gandolf the White") 3) There are two films, in which someone would have to see to help them understand the plot line of the Return of the King. So why start with the third film in the first place. Which brings me to the next time of people.

The Clueless: The clueless are the ones who have no clue why they are in the theater at all. If you ask them, they usually shrug there shoulders and scratch there heads (Ironcally these individuals likes all Michael Bay films and the movie "Deep Impact"). However these clueless people also like to make comments in the film because they are clueless. They like to poke fun at the production, storyline, famous lines and everything else. I say, people should education themselves before entering a film. Do not go to a 9 dollar theater, go blind and make comments and ruin it for everyone. We do not like you clueless ones.

Daters: Finally, we come to the daters. The people who make the smart choice to go on there first date to a movie. These individuals I guess, need the film to help or inspire them to actually start a conversation with each other. Roger Lodge would have a hay day with you if that was best part of the day. So here is a tip: Go to a nice restaurant and talk ( with the way movie tickets are going it should cost the same).